Hi to all my new friends from the One Piece friending meme, HI HI~! [waves] Glad to have you all!
Sooo, I've been working on a reaction post to One Piece 592, but I keep getting stuck on the Zoro section and fall permanently into setting: FLAAAAAIL. >.> So we'll see when I get that up. IN THE MEANTIME, I stole this meme from featheredtips . :Db It's one of those "name twelve characters and answer questions based on the numbers you assigned them" dealies, and I had possibly-illegal amounts of fun with it. \o/
Be warned that in places this does have distinct shadings of my shipping preferences in it. :)b
Twelve Characters I Love
1. If  Kaku was involved with both  Sanji and  Shanks how would  Sanji and  Shanks react when they found out about one another?
Shanks considers it an open relationship and so he doesn't care, probably even throws out a casual offer of a threesome (the same way he goes “Want to join my crew? :D”), which Sanji, of course, would refuse. Sanji was in it for the revenge hate-sex and also because the swords remind him of an oblivious someone...:D
2.  Ace and  Nami are saying their vows when the doors are thrown open and  Brook marches in demanding that the ceremony stop because  Brook is in love with  Nami and cannot let them marry  Ace. Does  Nami go back to  Brook or stay with  Ace?
Psh. Nami punts Brook in the head (“You're in love with my panties, you mean!”) and zips back to Ace at the altar. (Nami: You were saying, darling? [sparklesparkle] [insert nefarious female wedding scheme here >.>]) (Ace: Ummm...)
3.  Sanji has a phobia that involves  Zoro. What is the phobia?
Hohoho. On the serious side I'd say it involved waking up and not being able to find the guy anywhere around with the rest of their nakama, because maybe this time he's dead and that'd be just—a fucking nightmare for everyone. And then he forcibly reminds himself that the damn marimo is probably just lost or sleeping buried beneath that pile of dirty laundry or something.
4.  Robin and  Law are having a movie marathon night. What movie does  Robin pick and what movie does  Law pick? Is  Law happy with  Robin's pick and vice versa?
...Hahaha, I got the same ones as featheredtips. XD I'm just gonna go with them both picking morbid, unnerving thriller/horror movies, (and I won't name specifics because I don't know movies in that genre >_>), and that they would become bffs over the experience. Yeah, these two characters would get along.
5.  Usopp is in an unhappy relationship with  Shanks and realizes that he/she should be with  Ace instead.
Yeah, because Yasopp was matchmaking and who better for his beloved son than his beloved captain? XDD Yasopp is possibly not suited to yenta-ism. Usopp goes for Ace because Luffy has the sex drive of yogurt and he might as well get with ONE of the D brothers, and anyway this way he'll automatically get an extra portion of Luffy-attention whenever Luffy turns that blaze of big-bro adoration on Ace, as he so often does!
6.  Luffy is pregnant with  Robin's baby. How does  Nami react?
Nami: *___* [BRB WHACKING CAPTAIN IN HIS GOMU-GOMU NO INFLATED STOMACH] You moron! Like I'd fall for that!
Luffy: But Naaaamiiii, I'm eating for two, now! I need MORE MEAT. [POUT POUT]
Nami: [rage-face] You already eat enough for twenty!!
7. Does  Luffy handle commitments well?
Speaking generally, noooo, because Luffy's attention span is...not so good. XD He's easily attracted by shiny new adventures, etc. But speaking more specifically, well. The whole damn series is about his commitment to his dream and to his nakama, so also YES.
8. If  Law suffered from a mental disorder what would that disorder be?
The “Dark Doctor”? I can see sadism. :|a But a controlled sadism, directed at his enemies, even though he wants to cut everyone up and see what makes them tick.
9.  Zoro sees  Shanks with  Kaku and knows that  Kaku is involved with  Mihawk. Does  Zoro tell  Mihawk that  Kaku is cheating or does  Mihawk deserve to find out on his own?
...HAHAHA. Realistically (LMFAO) Zoro isn't likely to bother with that kind of thing, particularly when it doesn't involve any of his nakama being cheated on, but FOR THE SAKE OF CRACK, Zoro would so totally go straight to Mihawk and tell him and then go on in an awkward, stubborn manner to try to convince him to have Zoro instead, at which point Mihawk would go “Roronoa baby, I was just fooling around with that inferior swordsman while I waited for you. COME HERE AND TRY TO SURPASS ME (IN BED).” XDD
10.  Brook is set up by  Usopp, on a blind date with  Sanji. Does the date go smoothly, and has  Brook decided that he/she wants to kill  Usopp before the date has ended?
Pssh, it's Sanji that wants to kill Usopp for setting him up with a guy, not to mention a skeleton. So within five minutes of the date's beginning Usopp is a kicked-up mass of bruises in a corner somewhere (“I-I'm s-sowwy...”), but actually the date DOES go well because Brook and Sanji end up sitting at the bar and oogling and wolf-whistling at women, high-fiving and commiserating in their pervertism~
11.  Ace and  Luffy have been dating for a year. Where does  Ace choose to pop the question?
…..D8 I do not go for actual Ace/Luffy, I am an Ace+Luffy person!!! But, but, ummm....Oh, okay I've got it. 8DD
So Luffy has been sticking to Ace like a burr for a year after Sabo's death, making them like, what, eight and eleven-ish? Something like that. Then Makino does something cute and appreciative and specially fond for Ace—quite possibly for his birthday—and he's all blushy and smitten with her for a while. :D
Luffy, while initially happy-happy that Makino did something nice for Ace and made him smile like that, eventually gets jealous of the attention Ace is giving her, like the clingy little brother that he is. XD Especially since Ace tells Luffy to go away and do something else when he follows Makino around (what older brother wants a snot-nosed sibling tagging along while he tries to woo an older woman? (read: trots around after and stares at and blushes and offers to carry her things and beat up people and giant carnivorous animals for her). And so one day Luffy gets fed up and just tackles Ace and wrestles one of those soda can pulls onto his finger for a ring.
“Ow ow ow LUFFY YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING!”
“THERE! Now we're married and you can't cheat on me!!” [CLING CLING POUT]
“Well!! ...Y-you're always following Makino around lately, and Makino's alright but she's a GIRL and you're always k-kicking me away...stupid Ace...”
“...” [Ace stares, and then has to fight wildly to suppress a massive guffaw, and also a secret fuzzy smile. Luffy wants to spend time with him~ Luffy's glad he's alive~ ...Idiot little brother. Eh-hem.] “Well...Well, don't you even know how proposing goes, you idiot! YOU don't propose to ME, I'm OLDER than you.” [KICK] “And ALSO I'm your brother!” [KICK KICK]
“But Aaaaace!” [sniffle, sniffle]
“...Stop snivelling, you crybaby, and gimme your stupid hand.”
AND THUS ACE PROPOSES TO LUFFY! \o/!!
12.  Robin wants to end their relationship with  Nami. How does  Robin choose to do so? Heartbroken  Nami has a one night stand with  Luffy.
8| Why would she ever want to? Well, okay fine, meme, I'll play along. Robin and Law and their morbid smiley-ness have started a threesome with Franky, so Robin decides to end her bffs-with-benefits thing with Nami. So she either A) sets up Nami with a really rich guy with a terrible security system, or B) sneakily finds a way to jimmy Nami into the middle of a Zoro-and-Sanji sandwich. :Db ...Actually I think she does both. First A, then B. And EVERYONE IS SATISFIED. \o/ ((EDIT: lmfao, I just realized I totally overlooked the last part of this prompt (Nami has a one night stand with Luffy), but I'm too lazy to change it. XD Whatever, it can be Nami/Zoro/Luffy/Sanji. >.>)
13.  Brook and  Law married. How does  Law handle  Brook's death?
… :|a I've got nothing for this one. He waits to see if Brook comes back again, mourns a little at how creepily awesome it was while it lasted, and then shrugs and gets with Robin and Franky. >.> Why is this meme having me ship those three together now?
14. If there was one thing  Sanji could change about their life what would it be?
...He loves his life as it is right now. I don't know if he could bring himself to change anything in the past, if it'd jeopardize what he has with his crew. So I'll just say SANJI WOULD LIKE TO ACTUALLY GET LAID ONE OF THESE DAYS. :Db Preferably with a beautiful woman.
15. If  Nami could say anything to  Usopp what would they say?
“...You're a lot stronger than you think, you know. And I'm glad you were strong enough to come back to us. It...would've been awful...”
“Zzzz—hrrmm, Nami...? D'you say something...?”
“...” [small smile] “No. Go back to sleep.”
“Hrmmmmfhgml.” [still half asleep] “...But...I'm pretty sure I heard you say something. Why don't you wanna say? ...Wait.” [waking up more] “Are you hiding something??” [and MORE] “OHGOD what's Luffy done now?! IS THE SHIP SINKING??!”
[…] [>8|] [WHACK-INNA-HEAD] “EVERYTHING'S FINE, you idiot! Shut up and get some rest!” [storms out]
“O-owww...What did I say??”
16. A drunken  Kaku comes home and finds  Zoro in bed with  Brook. How does  Kaku react?
[IN AN AU WHERE KAKU JOINED THE CREW AS ITS SHIPWRIGHT]
Kaku: [is not drunk enough for this yet] ...Has he woken up yet?
Brook: [checking the bandages around Zoro's head, and being the watch-nakama so Zoro doesn't drown coughing up his own blood.] ...No. Unfortunately, not yet.
Kaku: [staring at Zoro unreadably, then looking at Brook] I can take over for now, Brook-san. You should get some rest.
Brook: [glancing at Kaku. He can smell the alcohol on Kaku (even though he has no nose, yohoho...ho...) but as always, can tell that the ex-spy and assassin is in complete control of his faculties (certain flailings in figuring out his Zoan form aside)] ...Very well, Kaku-san. I'm much obliged. [Pats Zoro's shoulder gingerly before he slides off the bed and leaves, with one last glance back by the door as Kaku takes his place, then he exits.]
Kaku: Roronoa...[firmly] You will not have the audacity to die now, before I've had the opportunity to pay you back for our last fight. Do you hear me? [silence] ...Good. [Draws the brim of his cap down to his nose and leans back against the wall, crossing his arms, to wait in vigilance.]
17. Is a sweet love scene between  Mihawk and  Robin possible?
...Sweet, no, but I find the idea of them sleeping together on a whim at some point oddly plausible. *__*a THEY HAVE THE SAME SENSE OF STYLE, just look at Mihawk's home digs!!
18.  Sanji and  Shanks are bitter rivals. What made them rivals?
Shanks is helping Luffy steal all of Sanji's warm, fresh-from-the-oven baked goods as soon as they're done, Sanji just KNOWS he is!! No way could the rubber idiot get through all of Sanji's elaborate traps on his own, and for an Emperor Shanks is just the damnedest overgrown little BOY with his delight in mischief! PLUS Sanji saw him surreptitiously wiping cherry pie filling from the corner of his mouth the other day!! (And, well. Sanji's perfectly right. About all of this. >.>) So Sanji commiserates with Ben, who is always amused by Shanks' shenanigans but also always willing to throw a wrench in the works, and thus Sanji contrives to hit Shanks where it hurts—his booze supply. A Shanks denied booze is a scary, scary creature, and thus the bitter rivalry!! ...For all of two days before Shanks teams up with Zoro and is soon well-supplied again. :|b
19. Is a happily ever after possible for  Zoro and  Law?
...Well, they'd have swords in common? :|a Their personalities are decently compatible, as far as I can tell, but Zoro would get annoyed with Law's calm, I'm-secretly-amused-at-you smile and constant poking, and Law wouldn't get tired of poking Zoro because the guy is so hilariously prickly, and in the end it comes down to Zoro's loyalty and utter devotion to a different captain, whiiich could pose a problem XD
Law: So Roronoa...Not that I care or anything, but...why didn't you call me last night. -__-
Zoro: Luffy wanted a piggyback ride. [........] [swigs booze]
Law: ...I can see we're going to have issues here.
20.  Shanks undergoes a gender-swap. Who would he/she sleep with first?  Mihawk or  Nami?
...HAHAHA. Mihawk, of course. Either because they've had a Thing since way back, or this unexpectedly kick-starts a new Thing.
21. If  Sanji had to be stuck on a island with  Ace or  Luffy which would  Sanji choose? Why?
;____; B-but they're both shitty guys with shitty bottomless stomachs—that would just end SO BADLY—why can't he choose Nami-swan or Robin-chwaaaan? ...He'd probably pick Ace if he absolutely had to choose, though, because he wouldn't want Luffy to get stuck on an island with finite resources where starvation is even remotely a possibility.
22.  Zoro and  Ace are romantically involved when  Zoro's original love,  Brook, returns from the dead. How does  Zoro handle the person's return?
-___- Iiii have no idea. /o/ [RUNS OUT OF CREATIVITY AT MEME'S END, maybe I'll come back to this later.]
23.  Robin is forced to choose who will live between  Luffy and  Mihawk. Which one does  Robin choose to live?
...Ahahaha, LUFFY. 8| Mihawk can go burn in a fire for all she cares, whereas the rest of the world would burn before she'd let Luffy—or any of her other nakama—die.
24.  Sanji falls in love with  Kaku. When  Sanji gets the opportunity to be with  Kaku he/she is happy... until he/she finds out that  Kaku is only using him/her to get close to  Ace.
Sanji: WHY DOES SHIT LIKE THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEE.
Everyone in the Universe: Duh. Because Oda hates you, Sanji. :|
Thiiis was soooo much fuuuuun. XDDDD Sorry for inflicting it on all of you~