zhadrani: (zoro+sanji || yeah we're fucking badass)
[personal profile] zhadrani
The following is an insanely long ZoSan meme for the [livejournal.com profile] zosan community which I couldn't resist tl;dr-ing in. :)a So if you're on my flist and don't like the pairing, just skip this~

1. First off, in your perfect world, who tops?

Oh man, I'm really switch-y with this pairing, so this is a toughie. I have a hard time believing that either guy's pride would be okay with bottoming all the time, and it suits my love of them being equals and constantly going back and forth when they fight to have them going back and forth in bed as well, so. /o/ No consistent answer here! Maybe I have a slight preference for Zoro topping, if only for the aesthetic of him being bulkier than Sanji, but I'm happiest when Sanji tops a good portion of the time, too. :D

Bonus follow up: Does it bother you if people write ZoSan, for instance, but Sanji is the one topping?

Not at all, and I think my answer above explains why. :)b

2. Sanji’s Sexuality is? (ie: Gay Virgin, Bisexual, Only gay for Zoro, manwhore?)

I waver between “bisexual” and “only gay for Zoro” here, with sometimes a middle ground of “really really really damn picky with guys.” I can see him knowing that he's capable of liking guys as well as girls but never doing—or even intending to do—anything with that part of himself, and I can definitely also see him not really being attracted to guys that way at all. Just Zoro. XD ...Definitely not manwhore. B|

Bonus follow up: If Kuina had lived would she and Zoro be in lurve and have a bunch of babies by now?

>.> Um, I lean toward 'hell yes' for this. Not the 'bunch of babies' part, but she's his flipping ideal woman. If she'd lived I can definitely see Zoro being so fucking in love with her. And it being reciprocated. ...I have less than no objection to Kuina/Zoro/Sanji, though. :Da

3. Mpreg. Who carries the baby?

:| Ehm. I don't really go for mpreg. Either one, I guess.

Bonus follow up: Tell me the kids name (If you say Zeff or Kuina, I demand a second choice as well!), gender, and their future career path as you see it.


4. Why do they fight so much?

Because they irritate the hell out of each other, of course. XD Also, they're to a greater or lesser degree incapable of ignoring each other, they each have habits and viewpoints that drives the other batshit crazy, it's a damn habit at this point, they're secretly ten-year-olds (possibly pulling each other's pigtails >.>), and I fully believe that they both enjoy the bickering and the brawls on some level.

Bonus follow up: After they get together and have the sexings will that change the fighting scenario any?

Hahaha, noooo, or at least not entirely. They'd still have the purely pissed-at-each-other brawls and verbal sparring and insults (why would they ever want to stop!), but there'd probably also be a great leap in the times where the fighting either starts out or turns flirtatious and teasing. I'd say that'd probably turn them both on. :)a Sexy fighting.

5. What role does Nami play in their relationship?

Third member of threesome
*eh-hem* >.> All I know is that she'd be sure to profit off it somehow. Possibly she had a manipulative hand in getting their heads out of their asses and getting them together in the first place, possibly she's just watching the whole thing with amusement and making sure it doesn't affect the way Sanji dotes on her (which it wouldn't), probably she teases them a lot. Unless that would really, actually upset Sanji, in which case she'd probably discreetly turn her eye in the other direction.

Bonus follow up: How about Luffy?

Are you kidding? XD He doesn't care as long as his nakama aren't hurting each other and he gets his pirate lunchbox. They're both still devoted to him and the crew's greater goals before anything else, so there's no problem there, and if he stumbled across any of their hinky business I can just see hilarity ensuing.

6. Who is bigger?

I don't know. :|a I don't really care, either.

Bonus follow up: Who gives the better blowjob? Why? How?

...Fuuuufufufu, I think Zoro would, because he's developed insane skills in learning how to talk clearly with Wadou's hilt clenched in his mouth. Tongue magic, srsly. *__* Then again, Sanji is all orally fixated with his cigarettes, so...Hmmm...

7. If they weren’t with each other, who would you pair them with? (het and/or yaoi)

Zoro I would probably pair with Luffy or Nami (or maybe Mihawk >.>) and Sanji...hmmm. I'm actually reeeally picky with Sanji pairings and don't have a clear second favorite for him. Gin, maybe? XD I don't really ship Sanji with particular women all that much, it just breaks my brain when it's an OP universe law that he must shoot himself in the foot and fail with actually getting one. I can sometimes make exceptions, though, if it's done well. :|a

Bonus follow up: Is there a chance for those 4 to be in an orgy together? What would that be like?

Zoro/Sanji/Luffy/Nami? ...Haha, everything is possible with nakamaship, XD. Although just for the sake of completion—and because I read an amazing OT5 fic the other day—I would toss Usopp in there as well if these four were already going to go at it. It would be...messy and full of fumbling and laughter and bickering and smacking people in the head and tenderness and intensity and...basically like it is normally, but with more sex XD.

8. Who would they want to be the third in a threesome?

Haha, whoops, already answered this one, kind of. >.> Definitely Nami.

Bonus Follow up: Who would YOU choose if you could watch?

>.> Aaaalso Nami. Maybe Ace, alternatively?

9. What is your favorite ZoroxSanji moment?

;___; You can't ask me to choose! ...All of them? I love all the stuff about their first meeting, from when Sanji recognizes Roronoa Zoro the Pirate Hunter's name, to Zoro's response to Sanji calling him crazy, and then Sanji's tense, shout-y reaction to Zoro not backing down and being cut down by Mihawk. I like the first time they fight together against Arlong's minions and you can practically see the unexpected respect and comradeship forming. And I like Sanji waiting with Luffy outside and just smoking silently, listening to Zoro scream as his gaping wound from that is operated on and stitched up by the doctor. And there's this other little moment in the after-celebration of defeating Arlong where they just hang out a bit (before Sanji heart-tornadoes over to a group of women, lmao) that I find really cute.

And then of course there's the Groggy Match during the Davy Back fight which is just. Chock full of goodness. There's also when they arrive at Enies Lobby and the Marines go “look, it's Roronoa, Straw Hat's underling!” and Sanji is like lol, they called you underling, and Zoro goes heeeh, better than being nameless pirate A, and the whole bickering from that. Priceless scene, just priceless. And then “I don't see a dead end...do you see one?” “Nah, I don't see one anywhere.” /CUTKICKSMASH DEAD END TO BITS. 8D And hell, basically every time they just smoothly back each other up, akljsdfsd. And Zoro giving Sanji shit over his bounty poster, and Sanji laughing like a dorky hyena at Zoro's Horo Horo'd “I'm sorry for ever being born” and Zoro grinding his teeth and turning red with anger and embarrassment over that, and of course That Incident at Thriller Bark, hoooohhhh man. *___* ...And I'm sure I'm forgetting a bunch, but you see. It's really impossible for me to pick. >____>

ETA: Oh wait! I forgot the part on Water 7 when Sanji backs Zoro up over the issue of Usopp returning to the crew. Love that, too.

Bonus Follow up: Which arc do you think has the most slashy moments between them?

Hmmm. Gotta be Thriller Bark or Enies Lobby, I guess.

10. When in the course of their travels do you think it was most likely that they’d get together?

I'm not sure. :|a I could probably think of scenarios for how it would happen at any point, but...Maybe after Thriller Bark?

Bonus follow up: Do you think they’d keep their love a secret on the DL?

Probably, to a certain extent. Zoro wouldn't think that anyone would have a problem with it, but he wouldn't see it as being any of their business, either. Private shit doesn't need to be waved around. And Sanji...well. XD Yeah, he'd want to keep the others from knowing about it if at all possible, especially the girls. At least until a long time had passed and he got more comfortable with the idea.


1. Do you write fanfic of a ZoroxSanji persuasion?

I've written a couple of drabbles, and I've definitely got other fic ideas for them floating around in my head. >_> A few outlines written of loooong fics that will probably never be fully fleshed out, lol. I do want to write more eventually, though.

Bonus: Pimp yourself! Post link to your fic here:

Here and here are the only ZoSan I've written so far.

2. Have you ever flamed or been flamed by someone?


Bonus: Was it deserved?


3. Is there a new fanfic you are currently obsessed with?

>.> Well, there's that OT5 fic I mentioned, but it's light on the ZoSan. There's no new ZoSan fic I'm currently obsessed with.

Bonus: How about an older one you’re dying for an update to?

Haha, anything by [livejournal.com profile] stark_black *____*

4. Do you have a favorite AU you like to see the boys? (ie: modern day, high school, cowboys, spies)

I have a weakness for modern day and high school AUs, and I'd LOVE to see a college AU, but that's mostly in doujinshi, not fic. Although some of my fic ideas are definitely AU. >.>

Bonus: How about a least favorite one?

...I can't think of any. :|a I love AUs, as long as they keep everyone in-character, but that's one of my requirements for any good fic, not just AUs.

5. Name a fanfic with great porn or a REALLY HAWT scene in it.

Crap, but there are so many good ones. :|a Lessee, [livejournal.com profile] sans_pertinence 's stuff is really awesome, like here and here (yaaaay for top-Sanji! 8D! And beautifully written atmosphere and emotion, all around, in that one), and most of [livejournal.com profile] scuttlebutt_inc 's stuff is amazingly hot.

Bonus: How hot did it make you?


6. What is the fanfic you’ve been the most emotionally moved by? 

OTL I don't know off the top of my head, and I don't have the patience to rummage through all of the stuff I have saved...so I'll just say one of my favorite fics from someone whose ZoSan is, I think, the best I've ever read. That would be [livejournal.com profile] maldoror_gw , and her gorgeous fic Taste Challenge, which, really, is just barely edging around pre-slash toward the end, but it does a beautiful job hinting at all the complex things going on under Sanji's surface and has basically everything I love about the pairing. (I also considered Mal's Like Steel for Chocolate, which is probably my all-around favorite ZoSan ever.)

Bonus: Copy/Paste a sentence or two from a part that moved you.

(Taste Challenge, select snippets from the end scene, rather more than a sentence or two because I couldn't help it >.>)

"He forced himself out of his state of mild panic and took a mental step back. This had all started during that taste challenge. Zoro had wandered into the kitchen while Sanji was sampling the honey- why had he gone to such lengths after that? The truth was, the original reason of humiliating the marimo in some way now looked much, much thinner than the icing on that cake he'd worked on for hours...He kept hearing Luffy say, in that straightforward way of his, ‘No, you made those for Zoro...’

This wasn't just one-upmanship. It wasn't a challenge, it wasn’t a stupid game. Sanji looked inside and found a horribly tangled knot that had been the original reason he'd started all this. There were motivations there he did not want to look at too closely. But there was one reason that made sense, all the way down the Grand Line and the dangers they'd faced together. The kind of reason worth fighting for."


"Zoro was staring at the cake as if it had insulted his swordsmanship, but his voice was oddly quiet. "I rag you because you're a dumbass, but I have never said you weren't a good cook.""


"Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose, longing for a cigarette, but when he spoke his voice was as quiet as it was determined.

"There's nothing for me to prove, because if there's one thing I know, it's that I’m a cook. A damned good one. It’s my job to feed people. I've fed merchants and pirates, thieves and murderers, the innocent and the damned. I've fed the starving and people I knew would try to kill me, and I even gave Momoo the Sea-Cow a good shot, so I'm damn well going to feed you, Roronoa Zoro."

"You've been feeding me ever since you came onboard. I've not been this well fed since I was twelve." It almost sounded like he was blaming Sanji for it.

Sanji shook his head. "I've been putting nutrients into your body - and the way you treat your body, you daft fucker, you need them, but that's not feeding you. Feeding someone is giving 'em a taste of a small joy in life."

Zoro's eyes hardened. Maybe he liked to pretend that apart from boozing, sleeping, training and trying to kill Mihawk, he had no other joys in life. The cook had met enough pirates to know that sometimes, that’s all there was to a guy who lived by the sword. But he’d seen Zoro whoop as their ship blasted off into the sky; he’d watched the swordsman put himself between his friends and danger, watched him laugh with them afterwards...a guy didn’t laugh like that if there wasn’t more to him than three blades and a death wish.

"So that's what I'm going to do, you pain in the ass, because you might be a monumental prick, but you're a guy who needs- who needs to be fed, and you're sitting at my table- and you're my nakama, you moronic bastard, so you're going to eat that fucking cake or I'm going to insert it down your throat and make sure it sticks there. Enjoy.""

7. Name a favorite fanfic or two that has excellent ZoroxSanji nakamaship but it technically not slash due to the author’s leanings.

I don't know~

Bonus: Name an FF writer that you wish wrote ZoroxSanji slash or pornz.

Can't think of any~

8. What is the most ridiculous or OOC thing you’ve ever read in ZoroxSanji fanfiction?

I stay away from OOC stuff like the plague and block it from my memory when I do happen across it, so. :|a IDK, in the specific, but the fandom trope about Sanji being a girly, weepy uke pisses me off (hell no, he's a fucking badass), as does the trope about Zoro being some kind of vicious, rape-y super-seme (uh, no. And also, NO). All too prevalent in the fandom, sadly. Bleeeegh.

Bonus: What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve wrote?

Pff. The totality of my ZoSan fic is linked up there, you be the judge, haha!

9. Any ZoroxSanji topics/kinks that really excite you to see in fanfiction?

Skiiiiiip! Although I do like Sanji making the first move. :|a

Bonus: What advice or how-to guide would you give to Zoro/Sanji fanfic writing rookie?

Avoid the above tropes. B| Stay IC.

10. What is a ZoroxSanji prompt you’d love to have filled? 

Hmmmmm. I think I'll go fluffy and say AU childhood friends fic, bonus if it moves into when they're grown up, because...I'm a sucker for it and I've only seen it done in pics or doujin. >.> Yes, I know it's difficult to do without turning saccharine or making them OOC, but I'd love to see it.

Bonus: What would you give to see it done?

Reciprocal fic, maybe? :|a IDK.


1. Do you art ZoroxSanji?

>.> I have not the skills to do so, or rest assured I would be art-ing up a storm.

Bonus: LINK here!


2. Give me a few of your favorite Slash artists.

Urk. Most of my favorites are Japanese fanartists that I know not the names of (my favorite of which is the artist who did THIS, THIS, THIS, and about a million other amazing pics) but I will say that I stalk [livejournal.com profile] sybile 's gorgeous, gorgeous art like mad, and I'm following this one fan doujin on Deviantart that has a lot of ZoSan that I really like. It's called "Shounen Jump a la Mode", by zazkinha, and should come up if you just type it into the search box. :Db

Bonus: Of those which style do you like best?

Of the three I listed here? I'm torn between mystery Japanese artist and Syb. :|a

3. What is your favorite Doujin and circle?

Pirate Ship Noah by Yamato, no question. *____* Although I flail wildly over all of Yamato's doujin, and also love all of Hachimaru and ROM-13's stuff. And also Techniques >.>

Bonus: Do you actually know what’s happening in that doujin or are you guessing?

...Well since it's been scanlated, hahaha, yes, I do I know what's happening. >_> And I know more than a little Japanese, too, so I can make out a good bit of raw doujin in general, depending on how much kanji is used.

4. Link me a favorite pic of ZoroxSanji Genderbent.

I haven't actually seen much ZoSan genderbent art that I like—they're both usually portrayed as waaaayy too OOC for me to like it much—but this one is pretty cute!

ZoSan genderbent

Bonus: Give me another one, this time with nakedness or pornz!

Don't have one~

5. Link me a favorite pic of the two of them bloody or fighting someone.

These two are my favorites. :Db

bloody kiss

you bloody idiot

Bonus: Now one where one or both are dead or near dead.

almost dead

6. Link me to a favorite dirty picture of them together.

>.> Uh, I'd rather not.

Bonus: Now to another one you wouldn’t want your dad or boss seeing you look at.


7. Now link a pic that bothers you in some major way and explain.

I don't have any like that saved. :|a

Bonus: Now a comic about ZoroxSanji that makes you smile.

This is an utterly, utterly adorable fancomic in which Zoro and Sanji go grocery shopping, Zoro immediately gets lost, Zoro gets assaulted by a tiny fluffy duckling with a curly eyebrow who mistakes Zoro for the lost “someone” he was looking for, the duckling (ODDLY, I KNOW NOT WHY) reminds Zoro of Sanji so he decides to help it find who it's looking for in a mind-bendingly cute series of panels, the duckling finds the lost, stoic dog in a haramaki that it was looking for and promptly kicks it in the face because it was worried, the dog placates the duckling adorably, and Sanji promptly shows up after searching for Zoro to parallel that whole storyline. Except it ends in more smooches. XDD Most. Adorable. Thing. Ever.

You have to have a Pixiv account to view it, though. :)b

8. Link to a fanart showing at least 2 kinks of yours or a fav AU.

>.> I'll put this one because it matches the fic prompt I gave and...well, it's just adorable.

kiddy crush

Bonus: Link to a favorite art you’ve done, a friends done, or if these don’t apply fav ZoroxSanji icon.

Well, I just made these icons the other day, so I'll go with that. :)b

tackle-kiss snooooze oral fixation

9. Link to an arts that was inspired by or inspired a great fic.

I don't know. :|a

Bonus: Link to an art you would love someone to fic about.

I answered this question already, I think, with the kid one. XD But here, have another one in the same vein as an enticement (also because I'm too lazy to go trolling through my whole folder again, lol):


10. Now post your current favorite ZoroxSanji pic.

I don't know who this is by, and it's kind of borderline ZoSan, but I'm just *____* About it right now. They're so gorgeous, and it's like. One of the few pics I've ever seen that makes them actually look their age. They look like 19-year-olds! Hot, built, capable 19-year-olds. :D ...Although it does make me feel old. :|a

sexy boys getting ready in the morning

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